Marvel's Guardians of the Galaxy

Ratings: 5.5/10

Film Class: B

Genre: Comedy Fantasy

What a joke this is. Guardians of the Galaxy feels more like a spoof than an actual Marvel movie. It's like watching a live action cartoon with a no-brainer storyline, awful progression, one-liner lame scripts, an utterly mismatched soundtrack and horrible on-screen chemistry by the 5 guardians. 

*Major spoilers ahead* The lameness skyrocketed at the last duel scene, the dance. Oooo, the dance. It totally stripped out and shattered whatever dignity left of it. 

Most of the scenes were just either off, lame, fake or forced. I can't even find the words to describe it because I've exhausted my vocab of verbal slamming. At one point, no, two, it was so bad that I just shook my head in utter disbelief. The build up of lameness was well paced, climaxing only at the end, and it hits you hard again and again. 

I haven't got the slightest clue how Marvel would allow such a horrendous instalment to be made. I understand it's there to tie the "loose" ends (seen in most Marvel stingers about the collection of infinity stones) and to introduce some pivotal characters, but not in this manner... Oh my, I'm so hooked onto this feeling... this feeling of non-stop rattling disappointment...

And yes, there's an end credits stinger... Nope not the dancing treeling, the talking duck! 

Earth shattering horrendous, gravity defying floppy. Guardians of the Galaxy seems to be fighting for the bottom spot for worst superhero movie ever made... And if indeed it does, it deserves an Oscar for it. 

The story spans around 5 mismatched intergalactic criminals turned heroes in their quest to protect an infinity stone from falling into the wrong hands. If you don't know what an infinity stone is, it's a gem imbued with immense powers, and there's 6 of these. This movie only features one. Having all 6 would make any being omnipotent. 

The only saving grace of this is that we get to see Thanos, even only for a good minute or so. And if you're scratching your head wondering who this Thanos character is, he's a super villain, immortal-like, with limitless power because he would eventually control and wear the infinity gauntlet (comprising of the 6 infinity stones). 

It might not be necessary to watch this to piece together the side plots of the Marvel movies so far, but (I'm slapping myself with a stick while saying this) it does make it easier to follow for future instalments. I hate how it's such an "important movie" considering how awful it is. What a bummer, what an A-hole...

300: Rise of an Empire

Ratings: 8.0/10
Film Class: A
Genre: Action

I don't get it. What's with the bad reviews about this 300 sequel? Perhaps movie-goers/critics compared this with the first, which of course is justifiable but rather unfair. Don't expect this to match the epic 300 starring Gerard Butler back in 2006, I'm just so glad this sequel doesn't flop. Not only did it not, it reminded me of the "coolness" I had long missed in its first instalment. 

In fact, 300: Rise of an Empire isn't really a sequel. It's about the fervent Greek General Themistocles leading his troops into a sea battle with the Persian navy under the god-like Xerxes. Xerxes is this gold-skin-clad mortal turned god after witnessing Thermistocles kill his father during his younger days. Leading his Persian navy is lady commander Artemisia (Eva Green), born of Greek origin, but sold as slave and saved by the Persians, hence her deep hatred towards the Greeks. 

*spoilers ahead* 

The story of Rise of an Empire takes place concurrently with the first series, while Themistocles is battling Artemisia in this, King Leonidas (Gerard Butler) was battling Xerxes in the "prequel". However, this sequel spans through a longer time frame, hence featuring King Leonidas's wife, Queen Gorgo (Lena Headey) joining the battle field with her Spartan army and lending support to the General. And Queen Gorgo is also the leading narrative throughout the film. 

A final sequel is promised, the battle of Xerxes with the gathering forces, the unity of Greece. The only complain I have is the short ending battle scene between General Themistocles and Artemisia. But apart from that, all the fighting scenes were a cinematic delight. Even though the ingenuity of the sea-tactics cannot match those of the Chinese Three Kingdoms era, it's still a spectacle to watch. Eva Green was a force to be reckoned with, and General Themistocles, acted by Sullivan Stapleton, a rather unheard of actor, gave an outstanding performance despite critics' reservations. 

There's also some boobies shown, more adrenaline pumping than arousing, and there's yet again another epic movie quote which is sure to stand the test of time. 

"Better we show them, we chose to die on our feet, rather than live on our knees!" Not only did this sequel not die, it's living on its feet and rises to expectations.

Winter's Tale

Ratings: 5.0/10

Film Class: B

Genre: Fantasy Romantic Drama

Beverly Penn: What's the best thing you've ever stolen?

Peter Lake: I'm beginning to think I haven't stolen it yet. 

A burglar breaks into a heiress's home and the chance encounter forever changes both their lives. It's a romantic story, horribly portrayed with the confusing mix of scenes, spiced with an out-of-this-world plot. Angels, devils and Lucifer all star in this rather seemingly "normal" movie. It's not your ordinary love story, it's a movie about miracles... saving that red head girl which will disrupt evil's plans. 

If you're wondering why my brief synopsis of this swings full spectrum, it's because it is what it is. I couldn't come to terms with what I was watching, same goes for my poor wife who had to sit through this deceivingly romance-promising movie with me. You see, it featured the song "Wings" by Birdy in the movie trailer, which I used on my wedding day. I had wanted to "relive" that romantic memory, but it came nowhere near the romance I had hoped for. The only touching part was when Collin Farrell watched a playback of an old static footage. 

I think the romance factor was overshadowed by the fantasy part, making Winter's Tale a sad, gloomy addition to anyone's movie library. At the end of it, I'm almost certain you'll ask yourself... "What the hell did I just watch?" So skip it, it's a winter you don't want to go through. 

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes

Ratings: 8.8/10
Film Class: A
Genre: Action Drama

Hidden under the realistic ape-like features of the ape horde is deceiving state-of-the-art CG. It doesn't look like anything much, but the fact that the entire movie immerses you into a whole new experience, a world dominated by apes, is just proof of how outstanding the graphics, as well as the plot is.

Caesar, the not-so-loved super intelligent ape from the forgettable Rise of The Planet of the Apes is back as the leader of a thriving new species of hyper intelligent apes. However this time round, Caesar promises to steal your heart in what I believe to be the most realistic portrayal of an animal-human in cinematic history. It was too horrifyingly realistic for me back in the prequel, because it felt rather weird then. But not now. In Dawn of the Planet of the Apes, the realism is what makes this film a worthy award-winning Hollywood Blockbuster.

Living peacefully in the forest with his newly formed ape colony, a group of humans unintentionally invades their territory. Fearing for the safety of his colony, he threatens the humans to leave them alone, if not war would be imminent. You see, most of the human colony has been wiped out by a virus, the Simian virus, allegedly developed as a result of the unorthodox experiments on the apes back in the prequel.

The surviving human colony is running low on energy, and thus treks into the woods to find another energy source, which so happens to be in the ape territory. This is when the plot thickens. The group returns to explain the situation to Caesar, seeking his trust to allow them to fix a rundown energy reactor. Friendships were made, trust was tested and conniving plots were given birth to. You’ll probably know where this leads to, eventually. But you wouldn't expect some twists in the story which makes this film more “human” than it actually seems.

There were a couple of eye-souring moments and this reboot of the cult classic rockets the ape-dominated franchise to greater heights. This movie is 70% ape, 30% humans, paying homage to the title and to the franchise, and the ending stinger is nothing like you've ever seen… or more accurately, heard.

*major spoilers ahead* There’s an audio stinger at the very end of the credits, a pretty long wait, but pretty worth it. It kinda hints towards what to expect for the sequel, chimp sounds, moving rubble, and what seemed to be breathlessness. In fact, I had read about the spoilers for the stinger right after the credits started rolling because my bladder was about to burst then. But I somehow managed to will back my tide till the very end. The breathlessness was very subtle… but very likely means the survival of a pivotal ape character.

The magnitude of my tension increased with each ape encounter, because I had to mentally gear myself for the abrupt attacks they would make because we all assume that when it comes to animals, they’re highly unpredictable. But that was exactly what the director wanted to portray, stereotyping. So was the same for my expectations about how the plot would unravel, but the twists were self-induced, without the stereotypes, the “twists” wouldn't be there.

The only puzzle rubble I have is where in the world did the horses come from? And then there was one, the one that Caesar rode on, and then many more magically appeared even though I hadn't seen any horses in the ape colony during the opening aerial shot nor in any other ape-colony scenes. Regardless, the horses gave a sense of mightiness to the apes and added a leaping advantage to the species which merely held spears. 

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes is really more than meets the eyes, it touches briefly on romance, and lingers mainly around the "love" amongst inter- and different species. It's one of animalistic substance, which only "superior" humans and apes can appreciate.

*warning: major major spoilers ahead, do not read on if you haven't watched the movie*

PS.: Just an easter egg for you, I've been incorporating subtle references in the words used during my newer posts (2014), see if you can identify them (you probably need to watch the movies first).

I'll just leak this one out, references made to the eyes - "eye-souring", "more than meets the eyes" (don't think the plural form of this phrase exist, so yes, it's not a typo). Fyi, not sure if it's a director's trademark but the starting and closing scenes are zooms out/in on Caesar's eyes. There's lotsa focus on the eyes throughout the movie, especially that of Caesar, probably to portray his humanistic nature.

And a weirdly but catchy combined twin word, "puzzle rubble". To refer to the audio stinger which I thought was an ingeniously novel way to imply the survival of the antagonist, of him emerging through the fallen rubble.

The Flu

Ratings: 8.5/10

Film Class: B

Genre: Action Drama (Korean)

I can't believe I actually watched The Flu twice in a single week and not be bored by it. I was impressed the first round, though unexpected because I have always silently hoped for a good virus movie comparable to Hollywood's Outbreak and yet didn't think there ever would be one. There was a good mix of light-hearted humor, and a rather well-thought-of myriad of possible character traits should a city ever fall into chaos because of an unspeakable virus. 

Ok, straight up-front, not everything makes perfect sense, there were some forgiveable questionability in the time-frame at which the virus spreads and how it wasn't able to infect the male lead, but for dramatic sake, these easily slide by. Though there was a line mentioned somewhere in the film which explained that the infectivity rate was about 50%. 

*major spoilers ahead* There was one particular scene near the end with all the dead bodies that made me feel like I was sitting through a zombie apocalypse movie, positively speaking of course since I'm a huge fan of zombie flicks. That was just unexpectedly awesome, coming from a Korean movie - it had a Hollywood blockbuster flair to it though I'm almost sure you haven't even heard of this movie before. 

When it came out in the movies, I had wanted to watch it so badly, but missed it due to a hectic work schedule. And then there I find myself silently hoping to find it on the shelves of any TS video stores (which specialises in selling Korean dramas), only to puke blood after realising that they were all closing down (few months back). And just when I was about to give up all hope... I found it in the most unlikely of places... Kinokuniya! Which is now my number one spot to hunt for Jap and Korean movies! A little side story about where I found these little gems from. 

Anyhows, there was even an "extended" ending, with the little kid repeatedly shouting "Don't shoot at my Mummy" at a whole troop of trigger-ready militants. It was a powerful scene. 

What I liked about The Flu is that it's very dynamic. The themes and the personality traits of its characters. There wasn't just one "bad" villain, in fact the main villain was a "good" person in the first place. And under such circumstances, it's saddening to see how people react selfishly to preserve their survivability. There's no clear right or wrong, because though selfish, most of the acts are rather "right" if you put yourself in their shoes. And everything happened for a reason. Something I found out during my 2nd viewing. One seemingly selfish act led to a new window of hope, so on and so forth. 

But what I liked most about it is the innocence of the lead actor. He's truly altruistic, but naively altruistic if you look at the big picture. I mean he can easily win the hearts of many because there's no doubt in anyone's mind that he's the true hero in the movie but it was because of his naiveness and his refusal to believe in the higher ups' false claims that made it uncomfortably realistic. His "stubbornness" to save people might in fact jeopardise the safety of the world. 

An air-bound viral infection is spreading through the city of Bundang and this is a movie about how a rescue officer and his loyal buddy, an infectious disease specialist doctor and her daughter, the president and his cabinet's members battle the worst epidemic the nation has ever seen before it's too late...

A movie worth coughing out blood money for...

PS.: There's a stinger after the first half of the closing credits. Worth waiting for.

Oshin

Ratings: 7.0/10

Film Class: C

Genre: Drama (Japanese)

Oshin is a young girl born in a destitute family who was sent to work as a live-in-servant at the young age of seven. Her 2 older sisters (whom we never get to see) had also sent off to work, though back then they were not as young as Oshin. Her family was living in such poverty that they had no choice but to send her to work for a year in exchange for just 2 bags of rice so as to feed their family. However, she was ill-treated and accused of a theft she didn't commit, resulting in her escaping from the family. Saved by a soldier deserter, they soon form a friendship, though short-lived, that will forever change the life of this young girl with an unbreakable spirit. This is a story of Oshin, a story of women. 

Though the DVD synopsis kinda stopped there, at the soldier deserter, it turned out that this lengthy movie was sort of a 2-part mini series... The beginning of Oshin and her friendship with the soldier deserter, and her bond with a grandmother of yet another wealthy family... who taught her the real meaning of life. 

It was extremely dreary. *major spoilers ahead* There didn't seem to be a sliver lining anywhere in the movie, until the grandmother showed up. But still, not one I will watch again. Briefly put, this movie glorifies women, the hardship they had to go through during the olden days (Meiji period I believe - read it from Wikipedia though not mentioned in the film) in Japan, and it tells of the extreme poverty side of life back then. They were so poor Oshin didn't even know what "fresh" rice tasted like. 

Even though it sounds almost heart-breaking, it's not. I know it's a bit of a contradiction. But dreary doesn't necessarily mean heart-breaking. I was more awed by the unbreakable spirit of Oshin, as opposed to feeling sorry for her, or her family. It wasn't until the last part of the movie when the kind-hearted grandmother gave 2 valuable lines of advice to her about women (worth sitting through the movie for), that it all fell into place - what the moral of the story was. 

In fact the movie made guys look like wimps, the guys were rather useless who pretended to be useful around the house when in fact it was the woman who supported the family. That was the only part I didn't like. 

It was eye-opening, and though it ended rather abruptly, it was just right. I didn't see how better it could have ended, cos her agony felt like a never-ending one, but the director made his point with that last scene, that Oshin is not about working for a better life, its about finding light in what seemed like eternal darkness. It's not about hope, it's about purpose.