Sunday, February 15, 2015

Fifty Shades of Grey

Rating: 6.3/10
Film Class: C
Genre: Romantic Drama

*Warning, this review is not meant for the sexually innocent readers, and I take no responsibility for any offence taken because you have been warned. The gist of this review is M18, but my sentiments and words used are at least R21."

So the highly awaited "Mommy Porn" is finally on the big screens. Fifty Shades of Grey was a highly acclaimed erotic romance novel about a college student, Anastasia Steele falling in love and engaging in extreme sexual encounters with a young and charismatic billionaire, Christian Grey. I guess that kinda explains the title, perhaps the 50 shades of grey had a duo meaning, we all know the color "Grey" refers to a dubious area, hence called the grey area, or it could also refer to the many sides of the lead character Mr Grey.

The main eroticness arouses from, arises I mean, from BDSM (Bondage and Discipline, Sadomasochism), which refers to extreme erotic practices involving dominance and submission of two or more individuals. There's really no right or wrong, some may see it as a twisted state of mind, a sexual psychopath, but others may see it as a exploration of human nature, coming to terms with our basic instinct - which is why it's a grey area.

I'm not going to say which school of thought I belong to, but all I can say is that from what I see in the movie, it's a very unhealthy relationship.

I shan't torment you further with trivial explanations that you can either google or wiki online, and I know the one big question on everyone's mind is... so was the movie erotic?

No. It was slightly arousing, but not erotic. It was nowhere near hardcore, so don't expect to be watching legalised porn on the big screens. There were many scenes of nudity, but no genitalia shots. The closest were slight glimpses of both lead's pubic hairs, and a bit of butt here and there. I thought it wasn't erotic because each sex scene was filmed too "strategically" and they felt more of a need, than a want. It was as if the sex scenes were there to inject sex, but not sexual tension. They were done hastily, like mutiple quickies and just like how Mr Grey distances himself whenever Anastasia yearns for him physically, the scenes just fades out whenever you're about to cum. Playing hard to get is fine, but not when it's done excessively, and even till the very end, it failed to reach any climax.

Don't get me wrong, I didn't watch it solely for the sex, I would be lying if I told you that my hormones didn't go into overdrive from all the anticipation just before the movie, but during so, they just all went into sleep mode.

From the Ellie Goulding's music video, "Love Me Like You Do", one of the theme songs in the movie which was upload on youtube on 22 Jan 15 just before the worldwide screening of the film, it looked more romantic than I had previously thought it would turn out to be. Well, I haven't read the novel myself, and was so sure it would have flopped like the Twilight Saga until the music video came along. Was I disappointed? Slightly. I wouldn't say it wasn't romantic.

It wasn't romantic during the sex scenes, the director should have prolonged one "quality" sex scene instead of focusing on the quantity, but there were indeed some scenes of their email / text messages that were pretty sweet.

There were 2 main anti climaxes, 1 came from the scene that the word "FUCK" first came up, when Anastasia asked Christian Grey if he was going to make love to her. But to which he replied, I don't make love. I FUCK, HARD (or something similar). I believe there were soft gasps from the audience (almost full seating) because it was rather sudden. Well that one particular scene in itself was already too abrupt, because there wasn't a strong build up of sexual tension in the previous scenes and just out of the blue, or out of the grey, Anastasia just throw herself at Christian with a, "Are we going to make love now?" *9 gag face*

The other was the ending. It has been a long while since my mind was this fucked. I was totally confused and before I could wrap my head around it, the cinema lights came on and whamp, credits cut screen. It was too "orchestrated", as if the director made a pack with all cinema-owners around to world to turn on the lights straight after that iconic elevator scene (shown at the start, and at the end). Film techniques wise, pretty cool, start and end scene with a similar elevator scene. Execution wise, because of the poor progression and ambiguity of its scenes, was like a hard slap on our genitals. Ouch* What the hell did I just watch?

I didn't get the last scene because Anastasia wanted Christian Grey to show her what he went through when he was young which made him the way he is, but after "showing" her, she cut all ties and returned all the gifts she accepted from him. I was like... WTF just happened? All the romance became superficial, like the gifts she recieved. I felt that Anastasia was in the notion of being in love with being in love. She thought she loved him because he was this eligible bachelor, young, handsome, rich. And when he exposed her to a different kind of sexual "pleasure", she was hypnotised with a new kind of sexual exposure. Yet, when she was finally able to "understand" him more, which was what she wanted, she couldn't handle it.

What I liked about the movie was that the focus was all about them. All the other cast were merely calefares. Some might not like it because there was no build up for the other characters, but I came to watch them, and though excessively them, at least I did feel a bit for the leads (how not to for 125mins?!). Oh and speaking of which, it didn't feel like it ran for 125mins, it felt shorter, way shorter. Perhaps an extension to a 3-hr movie was needed to really bring out the sexual tension and characters a bit more?

The other pro about this was definitely the soundtrack. Aptly haunting at times, the songs were either hauntingly romantic (BDSM scenes), or sweetly romantic (other scenes).

It wasn't that bad a film. But certainly not a rewatchable one. I'm not sure if I can submiss myself to a sequel, but am glad there's not one in the making, yet (cos there's no stinger or news about it). The lead actress does look naturally pretty, but her monotonous tone and expressions dulled the mood at times. While the lead actor didn't have a body to get girls wet over (was obvious during the first topless scene of him where there were short *woos* from a couple of ladies just before he took his shirt off but when he eventually did... an awkward silence of dense disappointment filled the air. It was almost... comical), I thought he was quite charismatic as a whole and acted well.

All in all, Fifty Shades of Grey, was just barely worth it. If you want extreme, Fifty Shades won't get you there. If you want romance, Fifty Shdes won't get you that. If you want a mind fuck, Fifty Shades WILL give you that.

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